Thursday, March 23, 2006

What day is it? It's limerick day of course. Not really, but Carson brought me her homework last night and they had to write 3 limericks. Not hard right? After all I am Irish! The hard thing was there were already words in place on certain you're getting my drift. Not as easy as you first think. So after a few hours of David and I both helping her, busting out a few limericks not intended for nine year olds and calling her teacher a few names we finally got the limericks done. Whew. But that got me on a limerick kick. I came up with a few for her to take to school today but wouldn't you know a sarcastic limerick is lost on a nine year old girl! So I will share them here. If you're offended by swear words then stop reading!

Limerick One: the one I tried to get Carson to take to school.

The limerick homework was dumb
It really was not at all fun

It sucked and it bit
the whole thing was shit

And you can shove that up your bum!

Limerick Two: Said after asking Carson if she had bathed the night before

There once was a girl who was dirty
none of the boys would be flirty

she stunk and she smelled
told them all go to hell

Hey--I think I look rather Purty!

After that limerick I announced to the family that I would now speak only in limerise!!!!

Limerick Three: Written on Carson's lunch bag after she complained I never wrote her notes

There once was a girl in school
she was pretty awesome and cool

her lunch box broke
it isn't a joke

Brown paper lunch sacks rule!

And now another deep thought by Jack Handy:

If you're ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don't know how to speak the natives' language, just say "Poppy-oomy." I bet it means something.



laura said...

you crack me up! :D

Kerry said...

Oh my gosh Lisa. You seriously have to be the coolest and the funniest mom I know!!! Those were hysterical!!

And I expect a limerick email now. You have to make one up for me!!! :)

Shanna said...

Hee hee.....I have one for you hooker! Check it out:

I once had a friend on crack
She left and didn't come back

Her high must be good
She's in the right mood

I love how her humor is whack!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dang LISA, you could be a GANSTA RAPPA with those limericks! You are too funny! Tammi

Erica said...

I am in stitches! I can't imagine why she didn't want to take them to school LOL!