Saturday, August 18, 2007

can't sleep again. so i thought i would let you know about humiliation week. at the school of lisa. it all started thursday when i went down to mesa. i met beth at the scrapbook store and we were following each other around looking at all sorts of stuff. i was looking for paper holders. i found one and put it in my basket. the basket i got after beth told me i needed one. right before i started dropping all my items. anyway--beth is looking at something right behind me and i spot a different paper holder/organizer. i grab it and say very loudly "whatcha think of this one versus the other one i grabbed?" and turn around to see it is not beth right behind me but someone i don't know. and she looks stunned. so i go and find beth and tell her what happened. a little snicker. then about a nanosecond later i manage to topple all the books of the shelf onto the floor. much laughter from the other side of the wall. i asked beth if she even needed to ask whom had done that. she didn't. so i manage to leave the store without further excitement. and a shout out to beth for pointing out some killer halloween scrapbook paper and challenging me to a layout duel! ha ha

after the store i go to meet some friends for a birthday lunch. we had just sat down and were getting our water when the waitress knocks my glass over and water goes everywhere--me, the present for my friend, my feet and nicole. well, it was a hot day and it was only water. and i had a good time seeing friends that i don't get to see very often. and a killer shrimp taco!

next stop is this little salon/boutique that i love in mesa. they always have cheap, fabulous skirts. so i find a few and go try them on. i am on my second skirt and i go to unzip it and the zipper pull breaks off. great. so i try to unzip the skirt. no way. i try to put the zipper pull back on. not happening. i again try to budge the zipper down.nope. finally poke my head out to tell the salesgirl my little problem. she comes over and tries to fix it and budge the zipper. nuh-uh. then she asks me if i have tried to pull it over my head. i just look at her and wonder if she has glanced at my upper body and then proceed to tell her i will try. needless to say that it is 113 degrees outside and have you ever tried on clothes when everything imaginable is melting? including me? so i am almost laughing to myself about trying to get this skirt off over my head. i have had a mammogram. i would have rather had had another one than attempting this maneuver. so i manage to get it over my ta ta's and it gets stuck right under my arm pits. lovely. now not only do i have a skirt stuck on me but everything from the waist down is blowing in the wind. so i suck everything in with all the energy i can muster and here we are, back where we started from. i stick my head out again and tell the girl that it just isn't happening. we both try to get the zipper pull on and try to force the zipper down. but no. this is where the jaws of life come in. yep, i had to be cut out of the skirt. which i decided not to buy.

now if you think that the story of accident prone/clumsy/humiliation stops there, wait. there's more. today is the day i drive the carpool. i drive wed. and fri. so i go to pick up haley from preschool. she has to be signed in and out. i am gathering all her stuff and one of her teachers comes out and asks if i have gotten everything. i have only met her once since i don't drive everyday. anyway i tell her i have gotten everything and we proceed to walk out together. she then asks me if i have signed haley out. i tell her that i did. then she asks me if i am haley's grandma. i say no, i'm her mom. then comes the mortified look and profuse apologies. i tell her it's no big deal. i mean i do have a daughter that will be 24 in a few weeks and haley is not even in kindergarten. still she felt bad. but it was funny. so funny i forgot to laugh! LOL

anyway--that is my week in a nutshell. good times. and i am starting to feel better. starting to feel like the old me again. ready to scrap and ready to start sewing. so look for some new projects from me. and a challenge from beth to use red in a layout. and no circles (since every paper i picked out in the scrapbook store had circles on it!) well, here's to good friends, a great husband and kids and zippers that work...lisa

8 comments:

Shanna said...

OMIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOSH!!! The visuals going on here are too much...I think I snorted the entire time of reading. HA! Here's to a less eventful next week!

Beth said...

;)

laura said...

oh crap - the zipper story had me laughing my ass off! you are too funny! hope next week is a bit kinder to you! :P

brianne said...

I love you! So here's a project... Jeff & I's wedding scrapbook. Did I mention I love you? Oh the grandma part is too funny, what the heck, you should've told that woman, hello, are you blind, I'm the sexiest woman ever. For reals mom, you're an 11. for schizzle my nizzle, a little rat tat tat on those tatas:)

Dust and Maddy said...

I love it. In fact, I might just go read it again, I loved it that much! SNORT! It sounds just like something that would happen to me. I'm even trying to pick my favorite part out. . . it was all just too fun!

Michelle said...

and here's the calling MICHELLE too! not just martha...errr I been beth :) I can laugh at your sorry ass too, ya know :)

Anonymous said...

hello, are you blind, I'm the sexiest woman ever. For reals mom, you're an 11. for schizzle my nizzle, a little rat tat tat on those tatas:)
________________________________

I think the above should be the journaling on your next all about me layout. I love it. Have a GREAT week.. Tammi

Nicole said...

They shrimp taco was worth the trip!! Maybe not the zipper episode, but at least you didn't have to drive home in a skirt that didn't come off.