Monday, May 07, 2007

GOOD NEWS! my son gets home friday!! yay! i am so happy! Incredible to me that 2 years have gone by. So looking forward to seeing him and having him around!

i had a friend send me this and it was too funny not to share. especially appropriate with mother's day right around the corner.


FALL CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, October 23, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS
MAXIMUM.

Classes begin Monday, October 30, 2007
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 May be extended to two semesters.
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen
Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right
Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00
PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates
and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy
Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued
to the survivors!

oh if that didn't cheer you up and make you laugh i don't know what will...L

5 comments:

brianne said...

wow. so true.

Dustin said...

I have a great husband, and even he could take some of those classes!

I can't believe Dallas comes home so soon. Seems like he just left! What a great summer for you :) Enjoy!

Rachel said...

I just tagged you on my blog... hopefully you havent done it yet :)

Deanna Payne said...

Oh man, Dallas home already? Be glad Shanna found someone and got married or you would have Shanna robbing your cradle. Hey, we have a sister that would like Dallas. Hook em up!

Anonymous said...

That is good stuff. That is so EXCITING that your son is coming home! HAVE FUN! Tammi