Carson: haley, will you do something for me?

Haley: i can't, i'm texting. (calculator in hand)

well i am doing better! i think everyone goes through some down times. i have lots to be thankful for. i have a great husband and children. i have a good life and live in a wonderful place. i have great health and i'm not homeless.

of course i always have my kids to make me laugh. first up is brianne. she called me the other day to tell me that she was at a church party and while trying to throw a water balloon at jeff she missed and hit one of the crankiest girls in her ward--along with her newborn baby. brie said the girl just glared at her and everyone was looking right at brianne. of course as she is telling me this i just crack up laughing. because hey--that's what moms are good for. laughing at their kids mistakes!

then yesterday i took the girls to the mall. the older girls went off looking and i took haley and anna to the play center. while we were there anna asked if she could go look in the perfume store. it was right next to us so i told her she could. i saw her looking at all the bottles. she came back and told me she found 2 perfumes that she wanted. i asked her what they were. sex in the city and love16 she replied. i said--i can tell you right now you aren't getting sex in the city. she then asked what sex in the city tasted like. i almost laughed but i told her that it was a SMELL, not a taste. then she asked if she could have love16 and i asked her how old she was. 8 year old girls don't get love 16 until they are 16! quite funny. that girl comes up with some doozys!

then yesterday we took the girls swimming. carson's best friend was down from mesa visiting. they were all seeing who could hold their breath the longest under water. mckenzie and taylor were both holding their noses and carson asked them why they were doing that. so we don't get water up our noses they said. carson said--but you can breathe with your nose underwater. of course taylor had to give her a physics lesson. then carson said--i'll prove it to you. she went under. she came back up and said--i'm sorry. oh my gosh. i was listening to the whole thing and just dying. later on while we were having a good laugh about it at dinner (that whole awesome mom thing again!) taylor said--that must have been a blonde moment.

i don't know what i would do without my kids around to liven things up. it's so fun to see them grow and change and learn. dave and i went to pinetop a few weekends ago and i took my sewing machine with me. i made that baby quilt above--my first one with batting and everything. then i made the girls skirts they are wearing. they loved them. and they were fun to make. we stopped in strawberry where they were having a quilt show and both girls got "tattoos." haley got the butterfly face and anna got a glitter one on her arm that i can't find the pic for. they were so cute and loved them. my parents went up too and we really had a nice time. i hadn't been to pinetop forever. beautiful up there!

have a great week everyone...L

ahhh, a new post. i wanted to update tomorrow. i have a lot of pics and some cute projects that i want to post. but that will be later. some things happened today that i need to put down in writing. so to speak.

so for the last few days, weeks, whatever, i have been in some weird kind of "mid-life crisis" sort of thing. wondering if the path i am on is right for me, if i should be doing something else, if i should go back to school or get a job when haley starts kindergarten. all these different feeling and worries. how i'm not talented enough or good enough to do something. i'm sure everyone goes through these times. i'm not the only one. but i haven't gone through feeling like this for a long time.

anyway--i told dave, as best i could, what i was feeling like and he said "you already have a job--you're a mom". and it felt kind of cliche. sort of like, yeah, yeah--i've heard it all before. i know how important it is but maybe if you've never done anything else you wonder if that is all you can or should do.

so fast forward to today. feeling miserable. mainly physical. i did have a slight fever--i took my temp. anyway--i got a call from brianne today. she was not having a good day. some things happened to upset her and so i listened and told her how i felt and that everything was fine, or going to be okay, and offered advice on how to deal with her problem.

then later today another girl problem with carson. some tears and feeling bad. i talked to her and let her know that we would work it out. find solutions. everything would be ok.

later on i got a call from brianne--telling me she was feeling better and thanking me for listening to her and helping her. then before carson went to bed she came in and gave me a hug. thanking me for helping her and listening and telling me she wouldn't know what she would do without me.

it wasn't until i was writing an email to kerry that i realized the importance of everything. the importance of me having a non-emotional personality that allows me to listen to my girls calmly and without getting emotional myself to help them out. not
that i don't get emotional too--trust me i do. but for the most part i can listen rationally and dissect myself from the problem.

and it made me feel better. not that my girls went through troubles, but that i was able to help. that i did something right. and i won't get paid for it or get an award or be well known. no one really will ever know about it but my kids. and that's ok. i can live with that. and the fact that motherhood is the job that suits me best...L

forigve me for i have sinned. it's been a week since my last post. i can't even tell what i've been doing for the last week. it's a blur. i remember going to dinner to wish kerry a bon voyage to kentucky. and since then i have been in this weird funk. i'm even crying for hell's sake! i don't cry. well, maybe twice a year. but i have been just funky--and not in a hip fashion-y way. no, just a funky mood. so many things going on and changing. the economy sucks. and we are trying to figure out how to move on and find other things to do. my kids last week of school is friday. i need to sew two dresses by thursday. taxes aren't done. i need to make teachers gifts. i need to scrap. and laundry is about to hit me full force tomorrow.

and right now i need to sleep so i can start accomplishing some things...L