there you go...

2011-08-21T23:12:00.003-07:00

i really should work on framing my photographs better. love the look on taylor's face in the second pic. it's like she just turned around...L

2011-08-16T09:38:00.001-07:00

more san diego pics...L

2011-08-14T19:40:00.002-07:00

some san diego pics...

2011-08-11T20:39:00.004-07:00

it's funny. how we grow, change and develop. sometimes not even aware of the subtle changes in our life. like how this year marks 30 years since my high school graduation. how i'm a single mom. how i can't remember the last time i sat down and cried over my life as a single mom, my divorce, my panic of trying to do it all. how my 16 year old daughter is a junior in high school. and my other 15 year old started high school this year. and that my almost 12 year old is in her last year of elementary school. and my baby is almost nine. and i have a grandchild. and a daughter who owns her own home. and my son is a blessing to me and my girls right now. how i used to scrapbook voraciously and hardly do it anymore. how i wish i could find the time to take more photographs. how life changes in an instant and not at all--at the same time. but i'm grateful for my lovely kids, the wonderful blessing they are. what joy they bring me...L

2011-07-11T19:14:00.005-07:00

My summer teacher gave us a day off. so i decided to take half my kids to pinetop. mind you when i say half my kids--that is still three kids. so taylor, anna, haley and i went and spent three glorious days in seventy degree weather. 70 degrees cooler than mesa. i finished 'the book thief' and we watched harry potter movies all weekend long. plus went out for pizza. i went walking every morning, even though a local woman was attacked by a bear less than 1/4 mile from my parents home. a lovely way to spend the weekend. it was just so nice to be lazy and do nothing. then i came home to this:

my ceiling in my bathroom fell in. again. less than a year later. welcome home...L

2011-06-30T08:56:00.004-07:00

ballerinas.

ballet lessons. i have been thinking for sometime that i wanted the girls to take dance lessons. all of my older girls took lessons when they were young. however, with being a single mom, and going to graduate school, there wasn't time, nor money, to invest in this. but i decided that summer lessons would be perfect. i picked up a flyer and let the girls choose what they wanted to take. i was sure that they would pick hip-hop, jazz, or gymnastics. nope. they both wanted to take ballet. i remember taking ballet for at least 6 years. then when it was time to go on my toes i quit. but i love ballet. for several reasons. one--it's french. arabesque, plié, jeté, rond de jambe á terre. two--it's graceful. ballerina's dance so seemingly effortlessly. three--it's beautiful. the pink tights, the hair up in a chignon, the simple outfits. four--it's classic. it's an art form that is amazing and lovely and has been around forever. maybe i have the next martha graham...

Radiohead vs Dave Brubeck - Five Step (mashup by Overdub)

2011-06-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

2011-06-07T16:35:00.001-07:00

2011-06-07T16:33:00.000-07:00

2011-05-31T09:17:00.002-07:00

my friend did this in some phone app. cool huh? oh, summer school starts today. shoot me now. i enjoyed a little time off. i got to watch season three of dexter, read a few books, enjoy the girls (and boy) and watch a few seasons of 'thirtysomething.' anyone old enough to remember that show? although i was in my twenties when it aired i always loved that show. and now 20+ years looking back at it is really fun. someone on the show got their first monstrous computer. no cell phones, no ipads, no laptops, etc. but relationships, feelings--those things never change. its fun to see how the single people and the married people are on the show. i can identify with each one of them--the mom, the single mom, the married mom, and now the single girl. all very real, with real-life problems.

ok--so the other day i took my two teenage daughters to the mall. along the drive there the song S&M came on by rhianna. i admit i like this song. so one of the girls asked what it all meant. i'm trying to explain it. then that led to a discussion of STD's. which led to a discussion of sex in general. i've always been open and honest with my children about sex. so the topic of masterbation came up. i'm trying to explain all this openly and honestly but some things started coming up out of that so that by the end of the discussion i was laughing so hard i was crying. then one of the girls said later--what was that thing? masterbution? wait, you can't have sex by yourself. CAN YOU? the killer to the ending of that was my daughter saying "you need a boy don't you?" i laughed the rest of the day about it. so if you are in dire need of a good gut busting laugh just talk to your teenagers about sex. i guarantee hilarity...L

2011-05-27T20:48:00.002-07:00

whoa, its been a while since i blogged. or felt like blogging. and since i only have maybe two readers then it doesn't make much sense to blog. except its sort of like a little journal for me. a journal that me and two others get to read. haha

so much and so little has been happening. whats the old saying--the more things change, the more they stay the same. that is life. I finished my first semester of grad school. i ended up getting two A+ grades which made my semester GPA a 4.17. of course those finals that took place had me in tears and in super freak out mode. it was brutal. being a single mom is tough without placing a person into having to study on a daily basis. i also started subbing which was fun/work. and next tuesday i go back for summer school. 4 nights a week for the rest of summer. not. looking. forward. to. that.

dating. ha. dating is not really happening right now. well, unless you count the gay guy i dated for six months dating. i prefer not to. lets just say that i am not going in to the match making business. i can't even pick men for me. i don't do the online dating thing, i don't really have a job that would position me to meet anyone, and so i am left in this weird no date zone. i alternate between feeling lonely and feeling free from any relationship. most of the time i am completely fine with my life. i know that being single has its ups and downs just like being married does. personally for me the highs and lows of single life far outweigh the heavy burden of being married to a/an (insert any adjective) man. however i go through patches of wondering how this will all play out. i get a little dejected from time to time.

other than that life is the same. the girls keep me busy. dallas is home and working and going to start up at ASU in the fall. my grandson is almost a year and a half old and brianne and jeff will be moving in to their first house this summer. a fun story about dallas. of course all stories of dallas are usually fun. he was complaining one night about me raising him like a girl. he said he wanted to buy some 'bumble and bumble' hair products when he got his first paycheck. i told him i couldn't believe he knew what bumble and bumble was. he said "well, its your fault for always taking me to the beauty salon to get my hair cut. i asked my roomate one day what 'product' he used in his hair and he said 'what the H are you talking about.' mom, you raised me like a girl!!!" anyway--we laughed about that. later on dallas told his gay boss (not the guy i dated, this is a different gay) that story. his boss told dallas "i'm gay and i don't even use the word product." haha i thought that was pretty funny.

ok. later i will post some pictures of italy on here. i finally got through editing all of them. photoshop was my bff there for a while.

happy memorial day to everyone...L

Sexy Twilight Back - Justin Timberlake vs 2 Unlimited

2011-05-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

2011-04-29T22:37:00.002-07:00

someone turned 16 on tuesday. Taylor Anne. Hard to believe that she is old enough to drive. I love this girl. She has great taste in music, literature, and movies. She loves sushi and 80's music. She has expanded her wardrobe beyond black and converse hightops. She gets wonderful grades, keeps her room clean and helps me out a ton. She has a funny sense of humor and wants to work for the CIA. We had a wondeful birthday celebration that started off with a bang. literally. I took her to shoot a gun at an indoor range. sushi for lunch. a movie with her brother. then pete's fish and chips for dinner. a giant snicker doodle for dessert. and no school. perfect. just like her...L

Knock Out Eileen (LL Cool J vs Dexy's Midnight Runners)

2011-03-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

2011-03-08T18:58:00.003-07:00

it was a sick day here today. my littlest baby. and since i just finished reading "understanding exposure" i thought i would put my knowledge to use in taking some pictures. i was quite pleased with the quality and noticed a difference. can't wait to take more pictures when all of my kids and grandchild is here next week...L

2011-03-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

just a scrapbook page about V-day...L

2011-02-28T09:45:00.005-07:00

so, yesterday i gave a talk in church. my bishop asked me a few months ago to talk about being single in the church. a daunting task. i lost a few sleepless nights over it. however, i felt pretty good about what i was going to say--about my experiences of being single in the church. since this is technically "my journal" i'm going to put it here so that i can look back at it. however, the best part of my talk (other than when it was over haha) was afterwards. so many people came up to me and hugged me, and thanked me for being so candid and honest and for representing the singles in my ward. married people thanked me as well. i recieved an email from a single woman in my ward and a family brought me and the girls cookies and a thank you note as well. it was all so touching to me and made me grateful to have so many caring and thoughtful people in my ward...L

Good morning everyone. The Bishop asked me to speak today about being single in the church. I told several people about my assigned topic, and after most of them asked me ‘no, what are you really talking about?’ I received a lot of advice—ranging from “you should really give it to them” from some single people to my oldest daughter who admonished me to go easy on you. I’d like to preface my talk by saying that my experiences and feelings as a single member of the church might differ from another single persons. Some singles are male, some are widowed, and some have never married. Some are older, some are younger. A number of us are single parents and others have no children. I pray that I will handle this topic with sincerity and honesty and tell you the feelings of my heart.

My first thought about this subject—other than the fact that I do have a lot of experience in this area--is that being single in the church is not the same as being single in the gospel. In the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are all equal, we are all loved. Race, gender, financial status, converts or life long members—these are not factored in. We are all God’s children and we are all looked upon the same. However, in the church it doesn’t work that way exactly, because the church is made up of imperfect people. Including myself.

I wanted to find some sort of analogy that would be a good visual at understanding what it feels like to be single in the church. Imagine that you get invited to a party. There are about 300 people there and you walk in wearing shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops only to see every other person in black-tie formal wear. Can you picture that? Can you imagine your feelings? Would you feel self-conscious, alone, embarrassed, thinking everyone is looking at you and talking about you, mad at yourself, and tempted to leave and go home? That’s pretty much what it feels like to be single in the church. You got invited—that’s the important part—but you don’t feel like you fit in. If I could use only one word to describe what it feels like to be single in the church I would say “lonely.”

From the time we are little in the church there is a pattern we follow. You get baptized, and if you’re a boy you go on a mission and if you’re a girl you go to BYU. You wait for your missionary or you find another RM and get married in the temple, have 4 children and live happily ever after. Now, I’m partly joking, but there is some truth to this. When your life doesn’t follow this pattern you feel that you are not in the circle of the church anymore—you are now on the outside looking in. You feel like you don’t belong and it’s a lonely feeling. The two instances that remind me most that I am single are when I go to bed at night and when I walk into church. All other times you might be conscious of it but you have work, kids, school, daily life, etc. to distract you. So the first thing I would ask the married members to do is to be friendly, and say hello to the single members. Trust me—the minute singles walk in that door, they’re faced with isolation and feeling disconnected. Of course, we single members need to meet you halfway as well.

When you are single there is not as much opportunity to make friends in the ward either. When you’re married you have more chances to make friends. Couples invite each other to go out on weekends, there are elders quorum parties to go to and meet people in the ward, and there are adult ward parties for couples. And even though I know that I am welcome at an adult ward party it is awkward to go to events by your self. Singles don’t have that opportunity to mix as much, or get to know people as well. Then when you are at church, most of the lessons taught are about how to make your marriage work or are about families, raising kids, and if you don’t have that in your life you wonder why you are there. Lets face it—a large part of the church is social. If it weren’t then people wouldn’t be upset when ward boundaries change.

The first time I was single I was in my 20’s and I had two small children. I was the only person in my ward that was divorced. I had no friends, no home teachers, no visiting teachers, not a soul that ever was friendly towards me and made me feel welcome. After a while I just quit going and became inactive. When I read this talk to my girls they said “mom, don’t tell them you were inactive.” But I believe in being honest and sharing how truly difficult it is to be single in the church. I truly felt like I was all alone, like I was an outcast. I don’t blame anyone for my inactivity except for myself. That was my choice. However, I think that single people need good home teachers and good visiting teachers, and an understanding bishopric. I am grateful that I have all of that in this ward. A funny story—my visiting teacher came over one day to visit me and she commented on how nice I looked and pretty and was I going somewhere special. At this point I had to say to her “Denise, I’m single. I have to try and look good all the time.”

I’d like to relate a personal story that happened to me recently. About six months ago as I came to church and sat down; I was worn out and tired, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, and I looked around and wondered why I was here at church. In my head I talked with God and told him that if I were supposed to be here that one of the speakers would speak directly to me, and that if not then I wasn’t coming back. Well, the two youth speakers did well, but it wasn’t for me. A returned missionary spoke and had a great talk but it wasn’t my talk. Then a high councilman got up and the first thing he said was that his wife had been admonishing him in his talks to make it more personal and to talk about his life. So he started to talk about how his parents had divorced when he was young and how hard it was for his mom and his brothers and him. He spoke about how members get caught up with lists of all the things we are supposed to be doing. And how the basics are what we should concentrate on—having prayer, reading the scriptures, and having family home evening. All the things that I was doing with my girls. And I knew then that Heavenly Father was listening to me, he knows how hard it is to be a single parent, he knows my trials, he knows that I am on this road alone, he listens and answers my prayers so that I know he is there. It gave me hope and courage and strength. But I will tell you that through all that I still struggle with coming to church at times. It’s not always easy. I sometimes feel that church is always structured towards couples with children. But I know that Satan wants me to feel inadequate and useless and stay at home. In D&C 122:7 God is speaking to Joseph Smith in the liberty jail and he tells him “above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” I know that in my experiences of being single I am learning things I could never learn otherwise.

In a 2008 Ensign, an article entitled “single and steadfast” said. “finding satisfaction, meaning and happiness in life may require singles to first confront their sense of loss and then learn to live more peacefully with what is neither ignoring nor emphasizing the future. Getting married is not the sole definition of success for singles. Success also includes being courageous and faithful in the face of loneliness and uncertainty, though it may not be the success singles most want.” In Proverbs 3:5 it says “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Lets face it—some times we are not going to know why we undergo all the trials that we do. We can’t see as the Lord sees, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason. All of us have our trials and hardships. The trick is to find peace and contentment no matter what adversity you have to face. There is a reason I’m single. I don’t know why, but I do know that as I try to be brave, and faithful that the Lord will bless me. Maybe not in the form of a husband, but in other ways. However, if anyone knows a tall, dark, handsome, single guy, you know where I live.

In closing I found a few articles in this month’s Ensign that dealt with being single. Joseph B. Wirthlin said “quote article step-by-step”. Another article entitled ‘similarities and differences’ stated that “we are all God’s children is our common heritage. Our differences lie only in the details and the packaging of our lives…but the similarities among Heavenly Father’s sons and daughters are so great that if we choose to focus on them instead of our differences, unity is bound to increase. I pray that we will all focus on our similarities and overlook the differences. When reading my talk my girls they said “mom, its so negative, can’t you tell them some positive things. So the positive side of being single is that I never have to ask permission to buy a new pair of shoes. I want my children to know that they are the biggest blessing in my life and I’m so grateful to them and love them dearly.

2011-02-18T15:28:00.002-07:00

valentines day as a single mom. i had a lot of fun making cards for the girls, baking some red velvet brownies with cream cheese frosting, and picking out a balloon bouquet. I had to go to school that night so i pre-ordered papa johns heart-shaped pizza as well. no one else in the world i love more than my children...L

2011-02-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

a new layout--featuring a beautiful daughter...L

2011-02-06T08:32:00.001-07:00

as true to my word. the other day anna went to a sleepover/party with her friends and got all dressed up. she even let carson do her hair. which NEVER happens. she was so cute i took her outside to get some pictures. anna is truly beautiful inside and out...L

2011-02-04T12:38:00.002-07:00

i haven't scrapped for a while. i haven't taken very many pictures either. i want that to change this year. scrapbooking is the longest lasting hobby i have had. i still sew now and again, and i still read, but scrapbooking just changed a lot of things in my life. it gave me several friendships that i could never imagine not having, it sparked my interest in taking pictures and it gave me a creative outlet. so these are two layouts i did yesterday. of two sweet girls in my life...L

2011-02-01T09:16:00.004-07:00

i made a goal with myself once a month to sort of sum up the month in the life of me and the girls and take a photo as well. so at the end of the year me (and whoever else wants to) can see how everything evolved. see where we started at the beginning of 2011 and see where we end up when it closes. as you can see i waited to late to get a photo of everyone so this month will be just me.

JANUARY

the year started with a bang! literally. this was the first year that i can ever remember fireworks being sold in AZ. and sold LEGALLY. dallas was here and we all stayed up and tore up the backyard with our pyrotechnics. it was oodles of fun.

also this month, on the 19th, i turned 48. it coincided with graduate school starting so there was not much of a celebration. however, i took the whole week to do some mini celebrations with lunch at places i enjoyed, i ordered season three of dexter, and the book 'water for elephants,' and i treated myself to a midday movie--black swan. i joined the gym a few months ago and have lost ten pounds.

i started graduate school. i got my intern placement at Mesa Prep Academy and work there one day a week. Last week was my first day and all day all i could think of was--this will be me someday. i will have my own class. i love teaching, i love school. i was incredibly happy with the choice i made to get my masters in education. only a year and a half to go.

the girls are growing up on me. i cannot stop time. my baby turned eight and got baptized last month. anna will be starting young women's in october. taylor does nothing but think about where she will go to college. chicago or japan? who knows next week. carson is toying with the idea of going to law school. all my girls are so beautiful and lovely and smart. i'm very lucky.

this month taylor got her driver's permit. it has been lots of fun to see her learn to drive. she is doing really well. panic attacks are down to a minimum. she even makes left turns now without hyperventilating. carson gave a beautiful talk in church and i got called to be haley's primary teacher.

now on to february...L

2011-01-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

my grandson just turned a year old yesterday. happy birthday logan...L

2011-01-07T02:10:00.002-07:00

followed by the layout...l

2011-01-03T18:45:00.002-07:00

happy new year. 2011. so much has happened in one month. i went to italy with my sister for two weeks, haley turned eight and got baptized, christmas, new years, dallas was home for the holidays. lots of fun stuff. i'll post more pics later. however i'm excited to start grad school in a few weeks and hopefully start substitute teaching as well. i'm happy for great kids and all the many blessings in my life...L

2010-11-27T12:27:00.004-07:00

it was a very happy thanksgiving. i missed my son who couldn't make it home, but enjoyed everyone else. especially a certain grandbaby. who has the cutest grandchild ever? MOI. oh, you need evidence?

he's even cute when he goes down for a nap and unbeknownst to everyone he finds grandma's scrapping inks.

now on to christmas...L

2010-11-04T16:49:00.002-07:00

My new favorite show. I don't know what I like most about it. The writing, the characters, the storyline. It's all good. Especially Michael C. Hall. Who plays Dexter. I think the C. should stand for 'come to momma.' seriously...L

2010-10-20T09:57:00.001-07:00

i see a future news anchor...L

2010-09-05T21:12:00.003-07:00

i did me some digi scrappin' this weekend...L

2010-09-02T10:34:00.003-07:00

See that girl. The grown woman. I gave birth to her 27 years ago. I love her to pieces. She definitely was a perfect child. That's the reason I gave birth five more times. Happy birthday Brianne. I love being your mom...L

2010-07-18T22:07:00.005-07:00

well, this girl turns 14 in one week. FOURTEEN. i can't believe it. amazing how time flies. carson resembles me most in body, not personality. she is outgoing and crazy and fun and loves to be on the go ALL.THE.TIME. no really, ALL.THE.TIME. me, i'm happy hanging out at home reading a book. however, we do share a love of shoppping and shoes. we do not share a love of team jacob or justin bieber. she makes me laugh, smile, and helps me and her sisters out when we need it. i love her to pieces...L

2010-07-13T17:48:00.000-07:00

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A few single friends of mine use the dating
site OkCupid to meet potential lovers. One woman got the following
notice: "We are pleased to report that you are in the top half of
OkCupid's most attractive users. How can we say this with confidence?
Because we've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other
people's reactions to you . . . Your new elite status comes with one
important privilege: You will now see more attractive people in your
match results. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their
match results. And, no, we didn't send this email to everyone on OkCupid.
Go ask an ugly friend." According to my analysis of the astrological
omens, Capricorn, you will soon receive a metaphorically comparable
message, not from OkCupid, but from the universe itself.

a few layouts and a horoscope...L

2010-07-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

enjoying a lazy sunday morning...L

2010-07-06T18:06:00.001-07:00

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): So it turns out that the "blemish" is
actually essential to the beauty. The "deviation" is at the core of the
strength. The "wrong turn" was crucial to you getting you back on the
path with heart. I have rarely seen a better example of happy accidents,
Capricorn. You may not realize it quite yet -- although I hope this
horoscope is bringing it all into focus -- but you have been the beneficiary
of a tricky form of divine intervention. One good way of expressing your
gratitude is to share with friends the tale of how you came to see that
the imperfections were perfect.

2010-06-28T20:31:00.002-07:00

a few layouts i did. started watching Lost. i always seem to get hooked on something AFTER the fact. so i'm watching it from the beginning. so far, so good. surviving the summer, haley has learned to swim, we are playing lots of the game Trouble, watching movies, eating ice cream and popsicles. the usual in-fighting amongst the girls. the hot weather has finally hit and stuck. got through mid-terms. started the 30-day shred workout, which is awesome. just some of the summer...L

2010-06-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

a couple of layouts i did this week in between homework that is kicking me in the butt...L

2010-06-22T18:11:00.001-07:00

kerry--do you feel the love?

chalkboard--$7.99
chalk--.99 cents
endless amounts of fun--priceless

2010-06-05T10:41:00.006-07:00

mississippi. Loved it. Beautiful, green, trees and fireflies. But most of all Shanna!! We had fun. We went to breakfast, we went to this cool little town that was reminiscent of Prescott. Shanna showed me all her little 'spots' around Madison. We saw a movie, had dinner, we even ate Mexican food and when i asked for 'hotter' salsa they eventually brought some out. good stuff for a southern state. Shanna even took some 'senior' pictures of me to put on my profile. Thanks for having me shanna--you know i love you...L

2010-05-26T05:09:00.001-07:00

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You're not living in Iraq or Sudan or the
Congo, and you don't have to walk five miles a day with a jug on your
head to fetch the water you need, and you're not so bereft of food that
you have to resort to eating worms and tree bark. So how bad could your
problems be? The single best thing you can do to start fixing your life's
small glitches is to feel waves of gratitude for how many resources you
have and how lucky you are. The second best thing would be to
aggressively take your worried attention off yourself and turn your mind
toward people who could really benefit from your help. As you carry out
those two assignments, your dilemmas will begin to solve themselves as if
by magic.

well said...L

2010-05-19T05:02:00.002-07:00

ENG 366 Literature on Film A+
ENG 376 Writing a Personal History A
ENG 385 Career Develop English Majors A

Term GPA: 4.11 Cumulative GPA: 3.75

Ah yes, spring semester is over. so happy. let's take a break. oops, what was i thinking? summer school is in session. two classes left until my undergraduate degree is finished...L

2010-05-15T01:59:00.006-07:00

i love this picture of carson. ok--spring semesester is over and what is that sound? oh yeah, that's the sound of me groaning because summer school has already started. shoot me now.

but i do have a cool horoscope for today.

Your horoscope for May 15, 2010
Enjoy yourself, lisa. You have a great deal to be grateful for, so give thanks. Take pride in all that you have accomplished so far, and share your joy with others. Feel free to let go of the reins and sit back comfortably for a while. You have worked hard for a reason: to enjoy life. If you don't do it now, then when? Take time out and be with loved ones tonight.

I actually did enjoy tonight with loved ones. Dallas, Taylor and I watched the first two episodes of 'Heroes.' I am not a big tv person, nor do i have time for much tv. so i hate dallas for introducing me to a show that has piqued my interest. of course right after watching it we learned that it just got cancelled. so i will only have to watch 4 seasons. and to be truthful i'm going to watch it because of Sendhil Ramamurthy. that man is hot.

i am going out tomorrow night with friends too. some much needed relaxation is on its way...L

2010-05-09T19:45:00.003-07:00

this is how i spent my mother's day for the most part. Having fun making some scrapbook pictures. I know, I could have done other, more important things like homework, but this was much more fun. I got some nice gifts from my children, some homemade cards and lots of love. Plus an incredible italian dinner cooked by dallas. I love being a mom. It's exhausting for sure, but i am grateful for all my lovely children and the happiness they bring in my life...L

2010-05-07T11:05:00.002-07:00

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

happy mother's day to all my wonderful girlfriends, mother's or not, you add to my life as well as your families and I wouldn't know what to do without your love and support...L

2010-05-02T04:15:00.003-07:00

happy sabbath and horoscope for today:

Take time out today to change the things in your life that need restoring, lisa. Explore your emotional needs and find ways to satisfy them. You may need to adopt a radically different approach in order to get where you need to go. Even if things seem unstable at first, they are likely to smooth out and be much more dependable in the long run. Be an individual instead of just another cookie from the cutter.

Definitely there are things that need restoring in my life. I'm officially divorced now. I haven't done a lot of things specifically just for me in a long time. I have mainly focused on my children and my education. While I won't quit focusing on those I do need to take care of myself as well.

Dallas is home! Sweet happy day. He is busy getting enrolled at ASU and finding a job. The girls and I are loving having him here. He's a tremendous help and a ton of fun. I'm hoping he can endure the copious amounts of estrogen floating around this house.

OK--so at the girl's elementary school every friday they have some jamba juice and other fun things to buy extra at lunch time. Haley asks for $2 because that is what jamba juice costs. Last friday she asked me for $4 because she also wanted popcorn. I gave it to her and a couple of minutes went by and Anna says--why do you need $2 for popcorn? It only costs .50 cents. busted. Haley got this funny grin on her face and needless to say she didn't get $4. something is telling me my sweet innocent baby is growing up. shoot me now...L

2010-04-28T08:38:00.002-07:00

I got accepted to grad school. yes, i did. i was on a high last night for sure. if this is the route i take, which i'm pretty sure it will be, i will start in the fall and it will take 18 months. then i will be certified to be a teacher in the state of AZ and have a masters degree in education...L

2010-04-27T18:24:00.003-07:00

this girl turned 15 yesterday. i looked at some baby pics of her today and its hard to accept sometimes that your babies grow up. i love taylor. i love her style, her personality, her sense of humor. i love the fact that she is her own person and doesn't let others dictate what she should wear or what she should think is in style. she loves 80's music and johnny depp. she wears her ac/dc converse tennies everyday. she plays the piano and speaks spanish. she makes our little family complete and that makes me happy. there really and truly is only one taylor in this world...L

2010-04-11T20:25:00.002-07:00

I thought this was a funny picture. Haley and Anna both had my cameras out taking pictures of each other. The other day, Carson or Taylor, or both of them, made some sarcastic comment to me. Haley turns to me and says mom, do you smell smoke? I said no. She says--cuz you just got burned. Wow--a whole family of smart asses. Just what i always wanted...L

2010-03-31T12:31:00.002-07:00

This picture is for beth. beth!! lookie! me at a sports game. I even had a chicago hot dog that was yummy. And of course when i took haley to the bathroom and to get a snow cone i missed the only two homeruns. sigh...

2010-03-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Kerry (shanna, dallas, brianne) this buds for you...

2010-03-19T21:02:00.002-07:00

spring break is almost over. brianne and logan have gone home and we miss them already. It was so fun to have them here for a whole week. We had fun with jeff while he was here and got to celebrate his birthday. some of the fun things we did this week--we went to alyssa's reception. so cute and fun and they had a sundae bar--my new favorite wedding reception treat i think. brianne took jeff to tia rosa's and to carolina's in downtown phoenix for a birthday treat.

i got little logan almost every morning so his momma could sleep in. so fun to have a new baby early in the morning when all is quiet. we went shopping--c'mon--what do you think a family of almost all girls is going to do? we went to tempe marketplace, we ate ned's krazy sub, serrano's chips and salsa, red velvet cake for jeff's birthday, brianne did makeovers on all the girls and we went to usery pass and hiked up the wind cave trail. not all the way up mind you, but half-way. i promised to take anna and haley back one morning to do the whole thing. afterwards we went to cracker's and had red velvet oreo bread pudding. do you see a theme here? that is hand's down the best bread pudding i have ever had. must.go.back.

i also did around 20 layouts. all of logan when i went to utah when he was born. now to just get them bound in a book. i enjoyed my week off of school. not too excited to get back in the swing of things but i am on the countdown for sure. i will graduate this summer. so happy...L

2010-03-17T03:22:00.001-07:00

2010-03-11T16:23:00.002-07:00

see this little bundle of sweetness? otherwise known as my favorite grandchild? he will be at my home tomorrow!!! i think his parents are coming too but that is just a necessary evil. lol in fact all of the girls keep saying how they are sooooooo excited to see logan. then, as an afterthought, they say--yeah, and his parents too, whats-their-names? lol

my paper is done. my paper is done. MY.PAPER.IS.DONE...L

2010-03-10T10:01:00.002-07:00

http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/pelikan/transcript.shtml

If you get a chance open the link and read. Great discussion about faith and religion and creeds...L

2010-03-08T22:16:00.002-07:00

Don't you just love Betsey Johnson? I do. She's fun and quirky and I actually saw her at a mall in cali once. I think that counts for something.

Meanwhile over here in school-central I am getting my butt kicked. However I will graduate this summer so I'm hanging in there...L

2010-02-28T08:39:00.001-07:00

Your horoscope for February 28, 2010
A luxury you've been craving for a while could seem very tempting today, lisa. Make sure you're really ready, willing, and able to spend the money in order to get it. Think about it carefully before whipping out your checkbook. Do you really want it that much? Is it feasible for you right now? If so, then go for it. Luxuries aren't always a waste of money. They can do wonders for our self-esteem!

and people say horoscopes are phooey...L

2010-02-23T13:31:00.002-07:00

I love alanis morissette. she has great music and a great voice. i went for a walk early this morning and this song came on my ipod. appropriate...L

"Narcissus"

Dear momma's boy I know you've had your butt licked by your mother
I know you've enjoyed all that attention from her
And every woman graced with your presence after
Dear narcissus boy I know you've never really apologized for anything
I know you've never really taken responsibility
I know you've never really listened to a woman

Dear me-show boy I know you're not really into conflict resolution
Or seeing both sides of every equation
Or having an uninterrupted conversation

And any talk of healthiness
And any talk of connectedness
And any talk of resolving this
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to love you
Try to love you when you really don't want me
To)

Dear egotist boy you've never really had to suffer any consequence
You've never stayed with anyone longer than ten minutes
You'd never understand anyone showing resistance
Dear popular boy I know you're used to getting everything so easily
A stranger to the concept of reciprocity
People honor boys like you in this society

And any talk of selflessness
And any talk of working at this
And any talk of being of service
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to help you try to help you
When you really don't want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to ignoring all the rest of us
You go back to the center of your universe

Dear self centered boy I don't know why I still feel affected by you
I've never lasted very long with someone like you
I never did although I have to admit I wanted to
Dear magnetic boy you've never been with anyone who doesn't take your shit
You've never been with anyone who's dared to call you on it
I wonder how you'd be if someone were to call you on it

And any talk of willingness
And any talk of both feet in
And any talk of commitment
Leaves you running for the door

(why why do I try to change you try to
Try to change you when you really don't
Want me to)

You go back to the women who will dance the dance
You go back to your friends who will lick your ass
You go back to being so oblivious
You go back to the center of the universe

2010-02-21T11:35:00.001-07:00

i'm thinking of just turning this into a shoe-a-day blog. of course i would have to add purses...L

2010-02-19T09:49:00.001-07:00

Your horoscope for February 19, 2010
Seize the day today, lisa; this is one you have been waiting for. Don't back down from the intensity of the day, for you have the power now to get a leg-up in your journey towards whatever it is you wish to accomplish in this lifetime. You will find that your willpower and discipline is finally paying off and that it is now time to grab hold of opportunities that are being presented to you. Take the plunge towards a brighter future and be confident of your impending success.

2010-02-13T19:12:00.001-07:00

something new i'm doing this year--making a digi calendar to record the little things and some pictures from the month...

2010-02-11T21:41:00.001-07:00

to show i have more than just a fancy for shoes...

2010-02-07T15:21:00.002-07:00

happy super bowl sunday. go saints. finishing up homework and while i did some reading i worked on two layouts. one of my sweet grandson logan and another one of something fun that me and the girls did--thanks for the green onion project, brianne & jeff, and also the grandson...L

2010-02-05T09:17:00.001-07:00

isn't this so springy? just right for that perfect flowy, floral dress that i don't have...L

2010-02-04T18:18:00.001-07:00

Anna: Mom, how do you make Lady GaGa cry?
Me: I don't know.
Anna: Poke her face.

2010-02-02T22:17:00.003-07:00

so this is my new grandson. I designed the announcement for brianne and jeff and of course had to send brianne this one that mentioned that logan is a double capricorn. for those of you not in the know, a double capricorn is someone that has both their sun sign and moon sign in capricorn. brianne had a wonderful labor, delivery process and logan really is just the sweetest baby in the whole world and i cherished my time with the new little family when i was up in utah. more pictures later when i am not swamped with homework. and yes, i am swamped with homework...L

2010-01-26T00:15:00.001-07:00

i know--two posts in a row about shoes. nordstroms now carries jimmy choo. sigh...L

2010-01-21T13:32:00.002-07:00

I definitely need these today. raining cats and dogs here. all the retention basins are flooded and tempting football playing teenage boys. I started classes this semester and they will keep me busy, busy, busy. I have literature and film (fun), travel writing (interesting), career development for english majors (informative) and writing a personal history (daunting). I was telling Dallas how much reading and writing i would be doing this semester and then remembered i am an english major. oops.

yes, I am a grandma! little Logan is a week old now and i enjoyed going back to Utah and helping take care of the new baby and brianne. although truth be told all i really did was try to hold logan as often as i could and dream up ways to sneak him home with me! he is darling and sweet and perfect and i will post pictures as soon as his momma and poppa have sent out their announcements and blogged about it themselves.

back to homework and fireplaces and visions of sweet rainboots...L

2010-01-12T18:29:00.001-07:00

I did this layout today of haley's birthday last month.

and yes, sometime tomorrow (knock on wood, cross your fingers) i should be a grandma!!!!

2010-01-11T14:44:00.001-07:00

anna lost a tooth the other night. i waited up all night, but alas he never showed...L

2010-01-09T21:00:00.001-07:00

a rarity for me. two pages in one day. photos compliment of carson...L

2010-01-09T10:16:00.002-07:00

a new year--not much for resolutions, although i have given some thought to certain things that i want to accomplish this year.

1) get rid of CDB--stat!
2) take a photo a week
3) create a layout a week
4) spend some one on one time with each of the girls
5) graduate from ASU this summer

those are some of my goals. I have some others that i started last year when we moved back to mesa that i plan on keeping up with--scriptures and prayers with the girls, FHE, personal scripture reading, temple once a month. I won't say that last year was an easy year--lots of changes in life for me and the girls--most of them positive but still not always easy. but the other night when all the girls were in bed and it was just me all alone sitting in my bed flipping through magazines and reading i was hit with an incredible feeling of peace and happiness. i wish all my friends and loved ones peace and happiness in the coming year...

2010-01-05T13:23:00.003-07:00

what i've been doing instead of putting christmas decorations away...

2009-12-28T08:54:00.000-07:00

2009-12-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

carson took these pictures today and we worked with them in photoshop. i love them...

2009-12-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

i hope everyone had a merry christmas!!!

2009-12-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

merry christmas eve...

2009-12-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

2009-12-22T21:23:00.001-07:00

2009-12-22T13:38:00.002-07:00

I don't know if you can see well enough--but i am a straight A student! One A+, one A, and one A-. so that is a 4.00 for the semester and now my cumulative gpa is 3.70...

2009-12-21T16:38:00.000-07:00

2009-12-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

my son is almost home for christmas...L

2009-12-17T22:52:00.001-07:00

2009-12-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

2009-12-13T20:19:00.002-07:00

well, my baby is now seven. i cannot believe it. we went to build-a-bear with three of her friends and anna. they all had a great time and chose chrismtas outfits for their stuffed animals. haley is the cutest thing in the whole wide world. her school teacher thinks she's an angel and even her primary teachers tell me she is perfect. they chose her to play mary next sunday--she is so excited. everyone that meets haley loves her--she is just sweet beyond words. even the woman that cuts my hair wants me to bring her with me.

i have been faithful about my picture a day--the hardest part is not taking the picture--it is trying to find the time to upload it, catalog it and photoshop it. but i am working on my december pages and have been happy with them. and now that i am out of school for a whole month it means plenty of time to catch up on photos, unload the last boxes (i unpacked 4 today) and keep up with my girls. dallas will be here on saturday and brianne and jeff hopefully on the 22nd. Brianne has to get the ok to travel from her doctor next tuesday so i am keeping my fingers crossed.

have an enjoyable week...L

2009-12-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

today is the last day that my baby will be six years old. build a bear tomorrow...L

2009-12-09T20:21:00.001-07:00

2009-12-09T16:58:00.002-07:00

Anna got the principal's award in her class yesterday--the same day that i got my test back from my paris/florence class in the middle ages--i got a 49 out of 50. so i had taylor take our pic as we celebrated december in a non-traditional way but exciting none the less...L

2009-12-08T06:07:00.001-07:00

2009-12-06T20:10:00.003-07:00

because nothing says AZ winter like orange trees! i have started making my christmas album pages with my december pictures. quite fun. Shanna was here yesterday with baby Chloe making me and my girls happy! what a sweet little girl. so fun to see shanna. i miss her. fun to do some things that we used to do back in the day--shop at scrapbooks, etc. and eat mexican food. sigh. i miss my faraway friends like shanna and kerry. but after a nice evening with shanna i came home to a nice talk with carson. my future angelina jolie. carson wants a lot of kids but doesn't want to actually give birth to them. she wants to adopt. so last night we are talking about it and i'm like--carson--you know if you adopt you won't be able to breastfeed. at which point carson yells out--um, yeah--that's one of the highlights!! lol

happy sabbath...L

2009-12-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

2009-12-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

2009-12-03T18:00:00.001-07:00

2009-12-02T21:41:00.002-07:00

2009-12-01T19:15:00.006-07:00

carson came walking in and i looked up and said--it's a school marm. and taylor said--no, it's BRIANNE! i have to agree!

ok--so i have committed to taking a picture a day this december. amidst all that is going on in my life i want to document the holidays. With this picture you can see that the holidays are coinciding with finals at ASU. But i did have eggnog for dinner last night and put warm flannel blankets on my bed. tis the season...L

2009-11-17T21:52:00.002-07:00

casa grande ruins. that was the field trip i went on with anna last week. very cool. the hohokams lived here around 700 years ago. amazing site and we got to see one of the three owls that live there. since i am taking a class of native american poetry this semester as well as a middle ages history class i found this quite interesting. i am making a new years resolution early this year--and i rarely make resolutions as i usually find them cliché. i was reading a blog the other day and this woman has a picture every day on her blog. everyday. which means she took the picture, downloaded it, edited it and posted it. but i loved looking at her pictures and wishing i took more pictures. the last year was pretty rough for our family but i see a bright and happy future. and i've decided i don't want to miss it. so i am vowing to take more pictures and blog more often. i would love it if i could take a picture a day all of next year. i'm willing at least give it a try...L

2009-11-04T23:43:00.002-07:00

I scrapped. It is a Christmas miracle. It felt so good too.

2009-09-21T02:30:00.002-07:00

taylor is in photo class this semester and she took this photo. her class had to take different types of images and i convinced her to take one of the stop sign in our neighborhood. the rare times i update my blog i always want to put a picture on but i haven't had much time lately to take many pictures.

school is going well for everyone. we are almost to midterms for me and quarters for everyone else. i go back and forth between my homework and the girls--and we all look at haley's 1st grade homework and sigh. lol everyone is adjusting to the move and all the changes that go with that. i am so proud of my girls--they have had a tough year and they are doing well in school and help me out a lot.

tonight we were playing this game--don't know the name of it--but you fill a thimble with water and then everyone tries to guess the answer to the question they ask--whoever gets it right gets the water thrown on them. so it's haley's turn and she asks who is her favorite movie star. after a lot of hannah montana, demi lovato, selena gomez and ashley tisdale answers carson finally asks for a clue--the first letter of the name. haley tells us T. so more guesses with no luck and carson says--ok--give us the second letter. which then haley replies--SWIFT. lol didn't take long then to figure it out...L

2009-09-02T20:25:00.004-07:00

it's back to school. actually school started for the girls about 3 weeks ago and my school started last week. let's see--a list of my classes: literary theory and criticism, indigenous poetry and paris and florence in the middle ages. lots of light reading! however a really humorous thing happened at school. dallas was here visiting and so i took him to ASU with me to my classes. my poetry class is about native american poetry. our teacher is a native american. she asked us to list all the negative stereotypes that people associate with native americans. so my son jumps up there and writes 'lazy' on the board. and there are a lot of people up there writing things like--uneducated, poor, drunks, bloodthirsty savages, mystical, dirty, superstitious, etc. then there is one boy up there who is looking around at everyone and he says "i think i'm confused." so my son says--oh, that's my fault. i told him we were writing our personality traits up there. oh my gosh. everyone in class is laughing. i'm like--don't take your kids to school with you. lesson learned. ha

in more exciting news. happy birthday brianne. it's a boy. not mine. my future grandson. let the shopping begin...L

2009-08-01T08:40:00.002-07:00

i can't believe it's been a month since i blogged! well, not much to say or do anyway. life has been pretty busy here. i found a house down in the valley. we are packing up and getting ready to move before school starts. i am enrolled in ASU and the girls are enrolled in their schools as well. everyone is pretty excited about the move and we picked out paint colors for the new house. taylor has a sky blue, anna and haley have a pretty periwinkle blue and carson's room is going to be hot pink, black and white. i can't wait to get settled.

this packing thing is wearing thin! i don't feel that well today and i have an entire house to finish packing. the girls are helping me and i had a friend from work come and help last week which was so nice. in other news brianne and jeff got to hear MY GRANDBABIES heart beat! dallas went out on a second date and the girls had a great time with their aunt debbie and uncle dennis in california. carson is officially 13! by my next blog i will probaby be in my house...L

2009-07-01T20:40:00.002-07:00

I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDMA!!!!!

i got this package in the mail today from brianne. little stinker kept it a secret for a few weeks. i'm so happy!!!! oh my gosh. i can't even believe our family will have a cute little baby on january 11, 2009!!!!

congratulations brianne and jeff...

2009-06-28T19:01:00.002-07:00

here are some pics from my family reunion a few weeks ago.

and here are some more...

i had a lot of fun up in pinetop with my family and girls. the older i get the more i enjoy seeing my cousins and aunt and uncles that were a big part of my life. we went go-kart racing, antique shopping and had a blast...